PET NAME PEEVES

What's in a name? A lot, apparently!

Babloo, Bunty, Pappu, Chintu, Sweety, Gudda, Guddi, Lovely, Baby, Pinky, Chinki, Chhotu, Sonu, Monu ... are just a few examples of the popular pet names that are lovingly bestowed by Indian parents to their offsprings in childhood, the reasons being many.

 Firstly, in India, the newborns aren't given names immediately in the hospital (as is the western norm) but only after an elaborate 'namkaran' ceremony. 
Then, there's the almighty tussle between the grandparents, parents, and hordes of aunts and uncles over a suitable name for the precious newborn. Picking and choosing one name that'll be acceptable to all requires management skills which will put top managers to shame.

Naturally, till such time an official name is given to the child,(which may take months or even years), he/she needs an identity. Enter that sugary, syrupy pet name which seems tailor made for that roly-poly, adorable, cute little infant. He soon starts responding to it and it sticks to him like the thumb that he keeps sucking in his childhood.
Even after the child getting a suitable official name, the elders in a typical Indian family refrain from using it. 

Sometimes, it is to protect the sanctity or exclusivity ("there are terrible 'naam-chors' lurking in the families looking for unique names"); other times, it may be too difficult to roll off the tongue. 

Whatever the case maybe, pet names are easier on the tongue, less stressful to remember and despite their commonality (every family has at least a couple of these), the pet names last lifelong much to the chagrin of the owner of these not-so-exclusive names.

Imagine a 30-year-old adult being introduced in a family function as Mr. Gupta's Babloo. The poor guy seethes inside, itching to reveal his official name but the extended family is least interested in it.

"Hi, I am Shashwat Misra, Mr NK Misra's son". Blank looks meet you. You are then compelled to prod the clueless audience, Remember, Sweetu?? Oh yes, of course, "toh aise batao na!!" Hugs and warm handshakes welcome Sweetu into the fold where Shashwat was a persona non grata!

"Chutki, Idhar aana", Mrs. Khatri calls out to her daughter, eager to introduce her to a bunch of prospective mothers-in-law. Imagine the eye-popping reactions when a 5 feet 8 inches tall, gangly girl strides in with a fierce expression. She, of course, hates her pet name but has to respond to it because her mother has all but forgotten her formal name.

A female relative of mine started insisting that we call her son by his official name, Sarthak instead of the hitherto used 'Gappu' after his marriage for it won't look appropriate in front of his wife and in-laws. We were all amused and a tad irritated by her supercilious facade but went along with the directive. Imagine my dismay when after all the ceremonies were over, she asks my husband to join for a group photograph, "Arre Bunty, idhar aao!" Grrrrr....I was incensed at the hypocrisy but my husband outsmarted her by saying, "I will only sit next to Gappu's wife". Needless to say, she went 50 shades of red while we chuckled at the fiasco.

Mind you, these pet names last a lifetime. I have met a 60-year-old Mr. Khan being referred to as Chote miyan by his gracious 78-year-old mom, Bubbles. She proudly parades her bubbly self and rotund 'Chote miyan' giving two hoots to the sniggering community. And, 'Baby' Mausi will be referred as such notwithstanding the fact that she is now a grandmother!

Hindi film industry has bulky, teddy bear like Kapoors with the cutest pet names- Dabboo, Chintu etc with the former's daughters being called Lolo, Bebo (Karisma and Kareena for the uninitiated). Govinda has a weird Chichi name while Hrithik is Duggu. How comfortable they are with their pet names is debatable and dubious. 

Life's tough for the pet names' victims. They grin and bear the atrocious name tags which do nothing to define their uniqueness or distinct personalities. It's as if they are a product of mass production, branded and labelled as per the flavour of the month. 

Pet names sound cute in childhood but outlive their utility thereafter. 
Unfortunately, they can't be done away with and the only way to survive them is by not responding to them after a certain age. People and family will gradually and grudgingly learn to remember the formal name. 

No such guarantees for mothers though, who will be hooked to her Guddu and Sonu lifelong, propriety be damned!

INSPIRATIONAL MOTHERS

Mothers everywhere are special. Indian mothers are renowned for their selfless sacrifices, devotion, and loyalty towards their families. They live their lives for their families whose happiness is paramount to them.  

An average Indian middle-class (nothing average about her worth) housewife plays a pivotal role in bringing up an entire generation with different aspirations and goals. She plays the cook, the washer, the nurse, the teacher, the guide, the sounding board, the agony aunt for her entire life.

If she's a homemaker, then all her waking moments are for the welfare of her family and if she's having a job outside the house, she's doubly challenged to manage both with supreme efficiency.

 I tried finding one particular mother (apart from my own deceased mother) whom I could dedicate this article to but failed to single out just one individual as my inspiration or role model of motherhood. 

I find myself surrounded by umpteen number of strong, tenacious, spirited women of lower, middle and upper strata of Indian society who are no longer content being the sacrificial lambs or devoted slaves. They are finding their grooves and learning the ropes to handle both - their familes as well as individual growth.

Happy mums are the best and women are gradually rediscovering their worth and saying no to any kind of bullying, abuse, bias, or nonsense. This newfound self-confidence of Indian women is inspirational in itself. 

 My maids, representing the socially and economically backward class of society, are inspirational mothers too. They are practically illiterates but slog day in and out to give a decent education to their children. They don't want their kids to grow up as house-helps, rather want them to get educated and find a decent job. One of the maid's daughters has passed highschool and takes tutions while pursuing higher education. They are proud kids and do not suffer from any inferiority complex. I salute the vision of these mothers who push their children to reach higher goals in life.

A neighbour of mine, Mrs Sinha died last month at the age of 82. She had become a widow just 7 years after marriage and inherited the responsibility of raising 3 kids single-handedly. Rather than wallowing in self pity, she did her post graduation, took up a teaching job and was a strong, self-dependant mother. She ensured that all her kids got well settled in life but even in her old age she chose to stay in her house and not with any of her children. She gave them love, support and wings to fly out of the nest guilt-free. No wonder the kids and their spouses held her in the highest esteem. She inspired others around her with her strong willpower and fighting spirit.

I find women achievers who manage both home and office efficiently, highly inspirational.

I find the selflessness of the homemakers who give their hundred percent to their home, hubby and kids all through their lives highly inspirational.

 I find mothers who push their children towards excellence highly inspirational. Simultaneously I also find mums who let their children be themselves and make their own choices in life, very inspirational. 

For I believe that there can be no custom-made category for 'Inspirational Mothers'. Each mother has certain special qualities in her which are unique to her, her situation in life and which define her role as a mother. 

I find the average Indian mother scaling new heights in recent times and striving to achieve excellence for herself and her children. They are pushing boundaries and learning to be self-motivated. There's a still a long way to go till the mothers get their just desserts but atleast the walk has begun!! And that in itself is so inspiring.

SARKAR-3

 
Brooding was never so stylised before. Amitabh as Subhash Nagre, 'Sarkar' for the masses, carries the trilogy forward in his inimitable style. There's tension, darkness and edginess to the drama. Much of the Sarkar legacy is carried forward with new characters thrown in. There's a heavy reliance on body language. Minimal dialogues, taut postures and nuanced facial expressions speak louder than words, adding to the gravitas. 

The story line can literally be told in a line or two.
Sarkar's aura is in jeopardy due to his ever spiralling band of enemies, desperate to dislodge him from his exalted position. His trusted lieutenant, Ronit Roy and grandson, Amit Sadh work at cross-purposes and form a maze of intrigues and machinations. 

However, there's not much suspense in the second half where the plot is a dead giveaway, with the grandson presumably joining the bad guys to finish his grandfather and the latter too vowing to finish off the last of his lineage! Like, seriously RGV? 

Another jarring fixation which realistic cinema's flagbearers have, is with the lighting or the absence of it infact. Whether it's a cost cutting measure or some mistaken belief that 'dark is dangerous', almost half the movie, daytime scenes included, are shot in absolute dark. You peer hard to make out the characters present in a particular scene. Somebody please shed some light on this style of direction!! 

The highlight ofcourse is the Ganesh-vandana sung beautifully by AB in his robust baritone and picturised graphically by the deft juxtaposition of religious fervour, criminal intent, rivalry, loyalty and deceit.

 The hard-hitting Govinda chant and the background music enhance the proceedings esp that slurping sound of the tea, drunk from a ceramic plate, in the last scene. It spelled satisfaction and triumph. As per Sarkar's taste! It was his cup of tea afterall, blended and brewed to perfection. 

I recommend the movie to die-hard AB fans looking for an engrossing cinematic dalliance this weekend.
Enjoy your cuppa!