CORONA SE DARO NA..(Our casual approach towards Covid pandemic)

The third wave of the dreaded COVID19 is currently sweeping the nation. Numbers are rising exponentially. Restrictions are being imposed, warnings issued and multiple PSAs have been released. Time to stop and take stock of the situation, right?

No Sir! We are Indians ..full of daredevilry, and willing to do a tango or two with the visitor CORONA (third time the shameless virus is dropping in unannounced in our country). It has absolutely no manners ….every time we drive it away, it becomes more brazen…changes its appearance, does a world tour, and comes right back knocking at our doorsteps gleefully.

The first visit filled us with trepidation as we weren’t familiar with the unwelcome stranger. Having heard scary stories of how cruel it can be, we closed our doors, banged our thalies and clapped loudly as if the sounds of the billion-plus cacophony will drive it away. It came anyway. We were prepared with armours and shields and after a bit of initial scare the dirty fellow ran away. We got emboldened and gloated like warriors who had won the war. Much ado about nothing, we scoffed disdainfully!

We got all cool and funny and complacent – mammoth crowds, rallies, kumbh mela, unhindered travel, shaadi-byah – all sans precautions. India smirked at Europe, battling a torrid second wave. Uff, these ‘goras’…they claim to be so advanced but can’t fight an itsy-bitsy virus. Look at us!! We, with abundant sunshine, natural immunity, Ayurveda, magical herbal concoctions, and that yoga- guru Ramdev, winking n blinking at the world’s inability to ward off the evil in the air.

Till the tsunami came and submerged us and made a mockery of our misplaced nonchalance. The catastrophic second wave left a trail of unspeakable devastation.  Within a matter of weeks, the collapsing healthcare exposed our inadequacy, our ill-preparedness and the intensity of the virus we had so erringly underestimated.

Weeks and months of despair gradually gave way to a new normal and one adapted to a different way of living…. social distancing, masks and sanitizers are a staple in every household. A lesson learned harshly, one would say..

The arrival of vaccination gave a sense of security and we fell into the complacency trap yet again. “It can’t happen to me now as it has already happened to me once.” Arguments such as these led to that cool dude feeling again. Till COVID the chameleon arrived again as Omicron – different face yet the same gene – for a world tour after hearing glowing reviews from his Bhai.

We groan exasperatedly! Not again! Grrrr…. This time we will not cower down! We will stand firm and face the invisible foe daringly, come what may! So with a defiant frame of mind, a casual approach, and a resigned acceptance of the persistently errant virus in our lives, the world in general and India in particular marches on to face covid-on-a-hattrick.

The protocols and mandates are in place, the guidelines issued and the to-do lists revised and repeated, ad-nauseum. The implementation, however, is at the mercy of an audacious and cavalier public, with the vast majority brushing away any grave consequences.

Being optimistic is good but throwing caution to the wind is …plainly, STUPID. How about a little conscientious approach, people? How about saving yourself to save others? This ‘AA BAIL MUJHE MAAR’ strategy has never worked, and never will. Hope to see you around …………. enjoying with baal – bachchas and nati-potas in your twilight years.

Till then, stay safe!

ODE TO MOMS

Warm food for everyone,

Cold one for yourself,

Ironed clothes for all,

While the wrinkled ones will do for you,

SELFLESSNESS, thy name is MOTHER.

Running around the house whole day,

Having no time to stop and breathe,

Rushing to and from office,

Not pausing a minute to ease..

DILIGENCE, thy name is MOTHER.

Cooking,cleaning, washing, driving,

Endless chores and everlasting duties,

Done with a smile and a warm heart,

Seldom complaining, never regretting,

SERVITUDE, thy name is MOTHER.

Absorbing troubles and problems,

Reflecting joy and hope,

Holding the family together,

And binding it into a whole,

STRENGTH, thy name is MOTHER.

You are the Agony Aunt and

You are the Angel Mary,

You are the preacher- teacher, and,

You are the support,

FAITH, thy name is MOTHER.

You are the essence of a family,

You are the soul,

You are the spirit,

And you are the prayer,

DIVINITY, thy name is MOTHER.

DEDICATED TO ALL THE LOVELY, LIVELY AND SPUNKY MOTHERS OF THE WORLD, Who keep their hearth warm and hearts warmer !

The Myth of 'Sanskari Ladki' needs to be busted!

International Women's Day isn't merely about merrily celebrating Success, Power, Beauty, Talents, or Influence. It is a time for reflection and a time to make a positive change.

The Powerful Patriarchy-

Indian society till the 1970s and 1980s was evolving and growing under the heavy umbrella of patriarchy and male chauvinism. The majority of women were housewives ('homemaker' term hadn't been coined till then) and finding an 'acche ghar ka shareef ladka' as a son-in-law was the primary concern of every family with daughters. With marriage being the ultimate goal and trip to destination home 'sasural' being the biggest triumph, nothing else mattered!

Good education, good sanskaar, good knowledge about household affairs, was all that the 'good girls' needed to fit the 'ideal' bahu and ideal wife mould. Once married, they towed the lines and operated within the barriers or rules set up by in-laws and husbands.

Seeking platitudes from elders, being at the beck and call of hubby and kids, running errands, and trying to please everyone all the time took a toll on her and her mental, physical n emotional well-being. Women didn't mind much because they'd seen their mothers lead a similar life and modelling themselves into their mom's mould was indoctrinated since childhood.

The herculean effort to maintain her good wife and bahu image consumed a woman completely till she reached a point where she stopped living for herself and devoted all her time to please others. That's when her self-esteem hit a new low and she resigned to a life of endless compromises and adjustments. To top it all, she was also the favourite punching bag for everyone.

No wonder the lives of women in developing countries have been a series of missed opportunities, suppressed desires and wasted talent. Their degrees burn the shelves, their ambition crucified at the altar of traditions, their individuality crushed to pamper the predominant, prejudiced patriarchal setup! All this in the name of 'hamare sanskaar' (our values).

THE CHANGE...

The rebellion started in 1990's in India with the influx of globalisation and the accompanying changes in lifestyle and mindsets of people. Foreign TV shows depicting women indulging in hitherto male privileges, multiple avenues of career choices, and the gradual dismantling of parental control and reluctance to send daughters out of town for better and higher education, opened an avalanche of opportunities for Indian females.

Girls realised that they can live their lives on their terms. They can call the shots and chart their own destiny. And though marriage still ranks supreme on parents' bucket list, girls have a decisive say in when and who they will choose to marry.

STATUS-QUO REMAINS-

For all the welcome changes and transitions taking place, life after marriage still remains embroiled in the moribund, age-old, irrelevant family diktats. Any expression of dissent to what elders in the family say or command is viewed as insolence and reflects poorly on your upbringing and sanskaar!( That dreaded word again). After all who can argue with 'yeh baal dhoop mein safed nahin kiye hain!'

Similarly, women face discrimination and harassment at workplace from their male counterparts. Their dress sense, their way of functioning, their tussle between prioritising home or office, all is put under radar, to be criticised at will.

I strongly feel there's a dire need to challenge the 'sanskari Ladki' (girl with good moral values) epithet which later transforms into the 'Adarsh Bhartiya nari' tag. This concept is nothing but a myth perpetuated by men since eons and upheld by women as a badge of honour. Millions suffer in the name of ‘sanskaar’ which becomes a means of exploitation of girls by vested interests.

Girls should be imparted practically sustainable values and education to enable them to deploy a good sense of judgment in taking an individual call on issues involving them. Teach them not to tolerate abuse in the name of 'sanskaar'.
The 'paraya dhan' notion needs to be chucked too. The daughter doesn't stop being a daughter after marriage and it's selfish and foolhardy to expect her to renounce her previous familial ties.

In a nutshell, 'good sanskaar' shouldn't imply surrendering one's mind, body and soul, rather they should aid in empowering a woman to feel confident, content and comfortable in her own skin.

Sanskaars shouldn't make you squirm, they should make you smile!

The hallmark of a progressive and matured society is it's level of  acceptance and appreciation of its women as competent, thinking individuals, capable of making their own decisions.

The road ahead us is long,
but, we'll get there!!

#HappyWomen'sDay

#RiseAndShine

#LiveByYourOwnRules

Happy birthday dear Bhaiyya

An Ode to the Possibilities, Potentialities & Eventualities

 

Today, we mourn the passing of our brother who was taken from us way too soon. It is his birthday, a stark reminder that he is no more. 

Om Shanti, Bhaiyya! 

You live in memories, in our heartbeat, in our thoughts and reflections. And in your beautiful write-ups, a fraction of which are available with us. Keep smiling up from heaven...and keep singing your favourite Kishore Kumar songs (Ruk jaana nahin tu kahin haar ke, nadiya se dariya, musafir hoon yaaron among others) and your perennial favourites, Elton John's Sacrifice and Nikita...  

You were the maverick, the unconventional, the genius, and much more...  

That flair, that luminous, literary command, that finger on the pulse of the country, its people and its history! 

That knack of coming up with the witty, the pithy, and the laconic. 

Sharing snippets of your vast reservoir of writings that are even more poignant today. 

 

"Please Don't Fret, Fuss Or Fume Over Anything,

Profound Or Trivial.

One Day We'll All Rest In Peace!"

By: Anupam Srivastava

----------------------

"ENIGMA--
Mind generates thoughts.

Thoughts generate energy.

Energy is life.

Life is transcendence.

Transcendence is moksha."

By: Anupam Srivastava

---------------------------------------------------------

"When Tears Want To Roll.

And Your Cheeks 

Refuse Accommodation.

Awakening to a life that lies beyond.

A deep-seated desire.

Oh! 

What then happens.

When tears want to roll down your cheeks.

And.

 You. 

Refuse 

Camaflouged.

In the regime of the normal.

Taken to the bed.

In the night.

With the protocol.

So that.

We all can sleep.

Disturbed by our dreams.

Nightmares come.

To wake us up.

As our next-door neighbors.

There is another morning.

We wish.

We could dress up better.

Then.

Again.

So. Then. Again.

What do you do?"

By: Anupam Srivastava

Gulabo Sitabo- movie review

Gulabo Sitabo, the latest movie choosing a web debut due to the pandemic, is humorous, zany, and poignant - a feat possible only when you have an absorbing script brought to life by compelling acting and deft direction.

Amitabh (playing Mirza) in a decidedly caricaturish get up, aces his quirky septuagenarian act obsessed with his dilapidated Haveli. The man continues to be a revelation, a bottomless reservoir of talent, with many tricks still left up his sleeves!

Authentically picturised in Lucknow with a talented ensemble cast, GS, makes you go through a gamut of identifiable emotions ranging from fixation with lost glory, the tussle between greed and need, and the fight for survival by the have-nots.

Movies like Gulabo Sitabo lack the larger-than-life big-screen visual sheen but are humungous in content and performance. Ayushmann Khurrana has become the safest bet to represent the struggling middle-class and he stands up ably against the aura and histrionics of THE Amitabh Bachchan. 

The movie is harsh, wicked, and treacherous with every individual playing a game of one-upmanship. That's what makes the movie relatable and giant in an understated manner.

#nospoilers

IRFAN KHAN- Gone too soon!

IRFAN KHAN- Gone too soon!

An actor par excellence, a prolific multifaceted actor, Irfan khan lost the battle to the emperor of all maladies after a valiant fight.

Quite unlike the quintessential hindi movie hero, the unconventional looking Irfan khan carved a niche for himself over the past 2 decades with diverse roles that displayed his formidable acting prowess.

He enthralled the discerning cinema lovers with finely nuanced performances in Paan singh tomar, Haider, Maqbool, Lunchbox etc.

He swayed the masses with a deadpan poker face, mouthing comic one liners in Hindi medium, Billu, Jazba, Talvar etc.

He was one of the rare breed of Indian actors who forayed successfully into the much coveted Hollywood arena with impressive roles in blockbusters like the Amazing Spider-Man, Jurassic park, Inferno , Life of Pi etc.

With his commmanding screen presence Irfan held his own amongst the A listed Hollywood actors.

He possesses an enviable repertoire of cinematic and theatre outings, and had a whole lot more to give to the world of cinema. His death leaves a deep vacuum and spells the infallibility and ephemerality of man infront of higher forces.

But real artists never go to grave. They live and breath through their work.  And as I start to rewatch Piku for the nth time, the tall, dark guy with the wittiest repartees for the sour-faced Deepika and the constipated Mr bachchan, fills the room with his booming voice.

#RIP

#Irfankhan

My KIDS, My Teachers!! The valuable lessons i learnt as a parent!

Parenting is synonymous with loving, caring, nurturing, teaching/guiding/mentoring your kids, and, quite often, disciplining. Where exactly one ends, and the other follows is not clearly defined. Often, they intersect!

As kids, we are emotionally reliant on our parents but as we grow older, get married, have kids and assume the responsibilities of a parent, we automatically switch gears and go at breakneck speed towards what we perceive to be the reason of our existence - our role as parents.

After being a mother for almost 20 years of my life, I feel that I can look over my shoulder at the years gone by and analyze it somewhat dispassionately. For a change, I will focus only on the parenting lessons that I've learned unconsciously over the years by being a mother.

1. Selfless love-

Selflessness, thy name is Motherhood. The moment that little bundle is placed in your arms, you learn to love unconditionally, completely, and that process is so organic. It is not forced or brought upon; it just happens naturally. Your child's smile lifts up your spirits, his slightest discomfort causes you pain, and you devote yourself one hundred percent to be a good parent. Other relationships become secondary, other emotions take a backseat.

2. Lifelong commitment-

Parenting is not a stopgap arrangement. Once you have a child, your life revolves around him 24/7, 365 days until they are an adult. After that, it is hoping that you have raised them well and being peripherally involved in their lives. As adults, we must give them breathing space so they can live their lives without us, parents, trying to control their lives. Having kids taught me what it means to be completely committed to another person and standing by him/her through thick or thin.

3. Being a good person myself-

You can teach and preach as much as you can but ultimately a kid follows what he sees and hears at home. I tried following all the moral science lessons (telling the truth, respecting elders, not wasting food, just being thankful and appreciative in life, etc.) that I was busy drilling in my kids. He had to see me following the dictums, for him to believe in its veracity and strength. So, by default, I became a much better person.

4. Value of Money-

That's one lesson I definitely learned after having my babies. The extravagant splurges and indulgences gave way to planned spendings and diligent savings. From saving for their necessities to their comforts, for their health and education, we learned how irresponsible our lifestyle was before. Now no expense was indispensable nor any saving too much. Want v. need was a very valuable lesson learned.

5. Enjoying the simple joys of life-

Reading a book, buying a dress, watching movies, going on a vacation, all the stuff which gave an adrenalin high were pushed behind in the ladder of happiness. The top spot was clinched by that toothless smile of my newborn. His gurgles, his sweet indecipherable sounds, his cuddly little body, all gave an unimaginable sense of fulfillment. Watching him crawl, learn to speak, and discovering the walk of life, took me to the mountain of happiness. Family bonding took top priority. Whoever said ‘the best joys in life are free’ knew what he was talking about.

6. Respecting the people in my life-

-my husband, elders, family members, neighbours, house-help etc.
Bringing up a child is never an individual effort; it takes a village. Right from cementing my ties with my hubby to appreciating the support system in my life, parenting made me re-evaluate the relationships in my life. I remain thankful to all those who helped me in bringing up my children. Without them, I would have been lost and floundered.

7. Reliving my childhood-

Seeing your little replicas with facial resemblances, behaviour, quirks is an indescribable joy. That dimple, that hair, that birthmark etc. etc. all bring alive your childhood in a tangible way. The nostalgic inputs from your parents create a warm fuzzy feeling about the cherished childhood memories and you get to relive those precious times.


8. Understanding & Appreciating my own parents--


You only realise what your parents went through once you have your own child! From our self-obsessed teenage tantrums to the difficult young adult phase, we don’t stop to think how much we are hurting our parents. Our own journey as parents make us appreciate all that our parents did for us. We start valuing their role and their 'interference' becomes more acceptable as does their sound, sage advices.

9. Every child is unique-


Mr. Sharma's son scoring 99% in class 10th, to Mr. Gupta's daughter becoming a junior chess champion, to Mr XYZ's child excelling in one or the thing, we parents envy the achievements of other kids and secretly want our kids to ace it. We love to gloat and we love to show off. Such uncalled-for comparisons cause immense heartaches to kids who feel inadequate and unloved by their parents.
Even comparing siblings by pitting them against each other unwittingly can cause self-esteem issues. I consciously try not to ever do this.
I learned to value my children for the individuals that they are, and I find them no lesser or any greater than others of their age.

10. I don't own my kids-


Last but not the least, I learned from my teenage son that he has a mind of his own. He has his own likings, preferences, ambitions and thought-processes. Our kids are not us. They have a right to their life. 
We can guide them, counsel them and if going astray we can pull them up but, on an average day, and all other conditions being normal, we can't live their lives for them. They should be given independence of thoughts and actions to make informed choices and be given wings to fly wherever their capabilities take them. Bottom line is that I don't own them. I never will. I never did. No parent ever did.


So, with all the lessons learned gradually as a parent - some reluctantly, I must confess - I find parenting to be the most wholesome, rewarding, taxing yet exhilarating experience of my life. The best part of it is that it's on-going and dynamic.