PET NAME PEEVES

What's in a name? A lot, apparently!

Babloo, Bunty, Pappu, Chintu, Sweety, Gudda, Guddi, Lovely, Baby, Pinky, Chinki, Chhotu, Sonu, Monu ... are just a few examples of the popular pet names that are lovingly bestowed by Indian parents to their offsprings in childhood, the reasons being many.

 Firstly, in India, the newborns aren't given names immediately in the hospital (as is the western norm) but only after an elaborate 'namkaran' ceremony. 
Then, there's the almighty tussle between the grandparents, parents, and hordes of aunts and uncles over a suitable name for the precious newborn. Picking and choosing one name that'll be acceptable to all requires management skills which will put top managers to shame.

Naturally, till such time an official name is given to the child,(which may take months or even years), he/she needs an identity. Enter that sugary, syrupy pet name which seems tailor made for that roly-poly, adorable, cute little infant. He soon starts responding to it and it sticks to him like the thumb that he keeps sucking in his childhood.
Even after the child getting a suitable official name, the elders in a typical Indian family refrain from using it. 

Sometimes, it is to protect the sanctity or exclusivity ("there are terrible 'naam-chors' lurking in the families looking for unique names"); other times, it may be too difficult to roll off the tongue. 

Whatever the case maybe, pet names are easier on the tongue, less stressful to remember and despite their commonality (every family has at least a couple of these), the pet names last lifelong much to the chagrin of the owner of these not-so-exclusive names.

Imagine a 30-year-old adult being introduced in a family function as Mr. Gupta's Babloo. The poor guy seethes inside, itching to reveal his official name but the extended family is least interested in it.

"Hi, I am Shashwat Misra, Mr NK Misra's son". Blank looks meet you. You are then compelled to prod the clueless audience, Remember, Sweetu?? Oh yes, of course, "toh aise batao na!!" Hugs and warm handshakes welcome Sweetu into the fold where Shashwat was a persona non grata!

"Chutki, Idhar aana", Mrs. Khatri calls out to her daughter, eager to introduce her to a bunch of prospective mothers-in-law. Imagine the eye-popping reactions when a 5 feet 8 inches tall, gangly girl strides in with a fierce expression. She, of course, hates her pet name but has to respond to it because her mother has all but forgotten her formal name.

A female relative of mine started insisting that we call her son by his official name, Sarthak instead of the hitherto used 'Gappu' after his marriage for it won't look appropriate in front of his wife and in-laws. We were all amused and a tad irritated by her supercilious facade but went along with the directive. Imagine my dismay when after all the ceremonies were over, she asks my husband to join for a group photograph, "Arre Bunty, idhar aao!" Grrrrr....I was incensed at the hypocrisy but my husband outsmarted her by saying, "I will only sit next to Gappu's wife". Needless to say, she went 50 shades of red while we chuckled at the fiasco.

Mind you, these pet names last a lifetime. I have met a 60-year-old Mr. Khan being referred to as Chote miyan by his gracious 78-year-old mom, Bubbles. She proudly parades her bubbly self and rotund 'Chote miyan' giving two hoots to the sniggering community. And, 'Baby' Mausi will be referred as such notwithstanding the fact that she is now a grandmother!

Hindi film industry has bulky, teddy bear like Kapoors with the cutest pet names- Dabboo, Chintu etc with the former's daughters being called Lolo, Bebo (Karisma and Kareena for the uninitiated). Govinda has a weird Chichi name while Hrithik is Duggu. How comfortable they are with their pet names is debatable and dubious. 

Life's tough for the pet names' victims. They grin and bear the atrocious name tags which do nothing to define their uniqueness or distinct personalities. It's as if they are a product of mass production, branded and labelled as per the flavour of the month. 

Pet names sound cute in childhood but outlive their utility thereafter. 
Unfortunately, they can't be done away with and the only way to survive them is by not responding to them after a certain age. People and family will gradually and grudgingly learn to remember the formal name. 

No such guarantees for mothers though, who will be hooked to her Guddu and Sonu lifelong, propriety be damned!